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Guys, is your girlfriend starting to get a little too comfortable?
You know how it is. She's a nice girl, you like to treat her right. Flowers, candy, fancy dinners, jewelry, whatever makes her smile. After a while, she gets used to the royal treatment, starts to expect you to treat her like a princess. She gets a little bit demanding, even. Doesn't get her way, maybe she pouts. At first, that works. But you're immune to it now. So she's started playing the whole tease game. Loves up on you all evening, develops a sudden headache when you're ready for some sex. Just basic chick stuff, working hard at getting you wrapped around her little finger.
Only, you don't want to get wrapped.
Husbands, is your wife starting to take you for granted?
Lovely woman, your wife. So sweet, candy won't melt in her mouth. Or she was that sweet, when you married her. But lately...
Look, we've all seen this movie. She's bored. You're boring. She's mad. You work too hard. You don't work hard enough. You don't work at the right stuff. She feels trapped in her life, in your house, with your kids. Whatever. She seems to have forgotten that she loves you. And -- so far as you can tell -- she's bound and determined that nobody's gonna have an orgasm in your marriage ever again. Or, at least, not until she's happy again. (Signs point to never.)
Of course that's not really her plan. You hope. But if she has a plan, she's not sharing it, and she's taken to treating you like grumpy old asshole with the smelly socks who messes up her bathroom. (Yeah, dude, that's you.) Not like, you know, a husband.
Gentlemen, your problem is clear. You're too safe to be around.
That's one of your problems, anyway. (You probably could step up the princess treatment again, or go back to picking up your dirty socks. It wouldn't kill you to do a load of dishes, either.)
But seriously. It doesn't pay to be too nice or too boring. A lot of women crave a bit of thrill, a bit of excitement. They want their men to seem sexually dangerous.
Note that word "seem". I'm not saying you should tie up your girlfriend against her will, or spank your wife while she's swearing and threatening to call the cops. That would be loutish and stupid. You'll go to jail, and deservedly so.
I am saying you should have a predatory gleam in your eye when you look at your woman. And she should be able to see it.
Teasing is always good. Threaten her with a spanking, make her think you mean it. She'll probably protest. You can promise her that all the protesting in the world won't save her once you get her wrists and ankles tied. Assure her that you won't untie her until she begs to give you a blowjob. Promise her you'll let her. Warn her that she may have to work harder without having her hands free to help.
Of course you don't say all of that in one grandiose threat. Dole it out. A hint here, a playful threat there, a meaningful glance at her bottom while you slowly wrap a leather belt around your fist.
She won't believe you mean it. Because you don't, not in the sense of "I'm gonna do it no matter what you say to stop me." But you want to plant the seed of doubt, make her think you might do it.
If you're already a bit kinky and have a little experience, by now you already understand that an awful lot of women would like to play like this, but they have a hard time admitting it. A startling number of vanilla-seeming women will respond to your first playful spanking threat with "I dare ya!" or words to that effect. And if you back off, watch closely for signs of disappointment. You might be enlightened.
I recommend you try this teasing game even if you never plan to take it an inch further. If you can convince your wife you are sexually dangerous, even a little bit sexually dangerous, you'll become more desireable to her. And you'll both enjoy that.
Do keep an open mind, though. You may find that your wife has spanking or bondage sex fantasies she's never confessed to you. A playful wrap of your necktie around her wrists, and suddenly she's over your lap begging you to spank her. OK, not likely. But it happens more often than you think. You've got to be willing to play along if that's how it plays out.
Rope Guy at Bondage Blog tells how he teases his girlfriend by threatening to tie her up and make her sleep on the floor. Is he likely to do that? I'm guessing not. But is she 100% sure he won't? Again, I'm guessing not. That's the balance you're shooting for:
Bedroom Floor Bondage
Sometimes when my girlfriend is tickling me or hassling me in some minor way as we drift off to sleep, I'll threaten to hogtie her and make her sleep on the floor. Indeed, I'll go so far as to claim that we need a marble floor in our bedroom, so it will be properly hard and cold.
Of course, she doesn't take me seriously, and says I'd never get any sleep from her whimpering and complaining.
When is when I turn the conversation toward her preference in ball gags. "Would you like the big soft chewy rubber one, dear? Or the small plastic ones with holes, like a Whiffle Ball? Or how about the one made from the pork-scented nylon chew toy bone for dogs?"
Just now I stumbled over a fragment of prose from one of the Gor books that reminded me of where I probably got the sleep-hogtied-on-the-floor threat:
I would allow Vika to share the great stone couch, its sleeping pelts, and silken sheets.
This was unusual, however, for normally the Gorean slave girl sleeps at the foot of her masters couch, often on a straw mat with only a thin, cotton-like blanket, woven from the soft fibers of the Rep Plant, to protect her from the cold.
If she has not pleased her Master of late, she may be, of course, as a disciplinary measure, simply chained nude to the slave ring in the bottom of the couch, sans both blanket and mat. The stones of the floor are hard and the Gorean nights are cold and it is a rare girl who, when unchained in the morning, does not seek more dutifully to serve her master. This harsh treatment, incidentally, when she is thought to deserve it, may even be inflicted on a Free Companion, in spite of the fact that she is free and usually much loved. According to the Gorean way of looking at things, a taste of the slave ring is thought to be occasionally beneficial to all women, even the exalted Free Companions.
Tell that to your lady. I dare ya. "My love, I have it on the highest authority that a taste of the slave ring is thought to be occasionally beneficial to all women." She'll scoff, yah. But she'll think about the idea. If you're lucky, she might even fantasize about it. And by the time she's done, her mental picture of you will be all mixed up (at least a little) with her mental fantasy image of the rough slaver brute who hogtied her on the cold stone floor of her imagination. Trust me, that's a good thing for you.
Should Wives Be Spanked?
Well, of course, if it makes them happier -- which it does more often than you'd imagine. I like this artwork from Spanking Blog illustrating the question:
Should Wives Be Spanked?
Men always ask.
Well, that's what the magazine cover says anyway:
Spanking And Sex
There's a rather more succinct version of this whole idea to be found at ErosBlog: The Sex Blog, complete with a reminder of how dangerous it can be to get too carried away with this line of thinking:
"Honest, Officer, It Was Marital Advice I Read On A Blog"
From time to time I can't help visiting the Why Your Wife Won't Have Sex With You blog, although I do it in the same spirit as a man goes to the racetrack to watch a demolition derby. The prevailing view over at Why Your Wife on this too-frequent lament of the modern American husband tends toward the "try acting more like a woman and she might ... just might, so don't get your hopes up ... decide to have sex with you again someday" variety.
Like the flying squirrel said, "Aw, Bullwinkle, that trick never works."
On the other hand, there's a comment over in a "Sex And Marriage" post by Quiver. Quiver gives some potentially useful advice to a man in those unhappy sexless straits, only to have a commenter share a rather more robust strategy:
"If all else fails (or if you prefer, before trying anything else) put her over your knee and with one arm firmly around her waist to hold her in place, yank her knickers down and spank her bare bottom very hard until she howls. Then spank her vigorously again until she begs at the top of her voice to be allowed to spread her legs and offers her pussy (which will probably be glistening wet by now). Then allow her to service your cock in whichever way you please. A woman who has just been spanked often sucks exquisitely well, and on her knees doing it she can look deliciously beautiful, so that may be a good starting place."
Kids, don't try this at home. Enormous downside potential if it doesn't work -- complete with sirens and handcuffs and a well-deserved orange jumpsuit.
So, what's your angle? You don't have to be a criminal brute to make this work -- in fact, if you are, it won't work. You need to be the ultimate old-fashioned gentleman. Emphasis on old-fashioned. You need to be a man, a sexually dangerous man, a man she hopes will throw her over his knee or tie her to the bed for some helpless ravishment.
Bondage Blog Posts:
Wooden Punishment Stocks
From Bondage Blog: "I think wooden bondage stocks, even simple portable ones like this pretty Pain Toy model is getting spanked in, would be a fun addition to the toybox. And from the look on her face, I suspect she needs something to keep her from putting her hands behind her..." (More...)Bondage Cutie Spanked
From Bondage Blog: "First this wayward young miss gets wrestled into the bondage cuffs. Apparently the lecture phase of the punishment wasn’t going well, because the ball gag goes on next. Ah, peace and quiet; now the lecture can continue. Finally, the actual spanking. Bottoms up!" (More...)Gagged And Paddled
From Bondage Blog: "What a look on her face! She’s tied over a leather foot stool, getting walloped with a paddle, but the neighbors can’t hear a thing..." (More...)Bondage Pictures From UseNet:
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Bondage Movies From UseNet:
alt.binaries.multimedia.bdsmBuy Bondage gear from JT's Stockroom:
This tall curved costure collar (available in black or white) makes slouching impossible. The curve provides some room for the wearer's jawline, as opposed to the straight edge collars which compel the wearer to keep her chin up and head back. Strict bondage if worn for very long! Closes with locking buckle... (More...)
The Jail Cell Stand-Up Cage is perfect for keeping a human captive exactly where you want. You can stash your prisoner, slave, or submissive in this very attractive steel cage and won’t need to worry about them escaping. Pefect for indulging your brutish prison guard / helpless female inmates bondage fantasy! (More...)
